How to get past the fact that most people are annoying as shit

Today, lying by the pool, a group of guys playing loud music and cackling like donkeys annoyed me.

People who spit on the streets here in Bangkok and act like they own the pavement annoy me.

Loud groups of tourists who leave rubbish around annoy me.

Sally’s political stance on Facebook is insufferable. Awful! How could she? What on earth is going through her mind to think like that? Not on my watch!

But a life worth living is one when we can, at the very least, accept others.

If we want to be happy, we need to find a way to see the light in other people.

All of them. Not a tribe. Not a clique.

All of them.

Yes, there is a lot to hate in others. Of course there is.

People can stink. Their hairy toes can be ugly. People can be loud and make dumb noises when they eat ice-cream.

They can say extraordinarily stupid, non-thought-out things.

But inside everyone is a sliver of light, and in many, that sliver is a sun, round and bright and nourishing.

Your job isn’t to find the shit and to judge. Why? What can that do for us? This only hurts us.

It hurts because, in our judgement of others, we are really judging ourselves. We are breaking ourselves down a tiny bit every time we judge negatively.

We are connected. Even if merely being human is the only link, it is enough.

We are all connected.

Imagine for a second a world in which you could find something to like about everyone.

Imagine there was something genuinely fascinating in everyone.

How would that change the way you experienced life?

Really think about that.

Alfred Adler said that ALL our problems were interpersonal problems — i.e. problems related to our interactions with people.

If we can find a way to like or even love others, perhaps a tremendous amount can change for the better.

The reality is this:

Everyone is equally tedious, stupid, annoying, ugly and uninteresting.

You know yourself. You know your friends. Everyone is the same. Nothing to be learned. Equally shitty, but you suck it up, and you get by anyway.

It’s true. We ARE equally shitty, but we’re all equally fascinating too when you know where, and how to look.

It’s all perspective. And if you don’t want to torment yourself for the rest of your life, you might want to think about changing that perspective.

Or, at least, like me, work on it.

The reality is also this:

There is something magnificent in everyone. Everyone has a unique, deep and complex experience that we can learn from. Everyone.

Everyone’s soul flickers and sparkles with a different pace, a unique frequency, and a magical combination of hues and tints that have never been seen before.

Your job — if you want to take it — is to find this magnificence for yourself. If you want to.

Find the soul in others.

Observe people that split-second longer to find it.

Watch for the subtleties. The tiny details.

They are there.

The beginnings of a smirk.

The sparkle in someone’s eye.

The years of self-doubt manifesting in tight shoulders.

The curious quirks.

The hand-wringing.

The moments when someone is genuinely animated.

Notice the funny, sweet things about people too and you might often find yourself in a state of joy.

Look outside yourself, and your own insecurities will slip into black.

You will forget yourself, and also your anxieties.

Perhaps such a habit will bring new success into your life.

This needs to be a habit.

Observe over judging.

Observe over judging.

Observe over judging.

This is a habit.

And one that will change so much for you.

—

If you have 11.34 seconds, I’d love to hear your comment below. I read them all.

What makes you come alive?