Understanding How I Am Connected Makes Everything Better
It is very human to believe it’s them and us.
Me versus the world!
I am separate from everyone else.
I am this way because my thinking says so.
I share this planet with other disconnected beings. I am an island — isolated in time and space.
I have thought this way for much of my life. At boarding school in England, I suffered greatly in continually directing my attention to how I was different, disconnected, and odd.
Thinking of myself as a disconnected soul has worked its way into my sense of who I am, but it has never helped me.
Understanding the positive implications of connectedness has proven to be one of my most significant breakthroughs.
Regardless of the science; your views on spirituality; the opinions of seemingly intelligent people, and how we rationalize the idea of ‘connectedness,’ the richness of our experience can be guided by a simple choice:
We can choose to be consciously connected to all things, or we can choose to be unconsciously disconnected.
Sometimes we forget the power we have in merely choosing.
“It is the ability to choose that makes us human.” ~Madeleine L’Engle
Identifying with disconnection is always limiting.
Our choices can imprison us, or they can help us realize total freedom.
Why is having a sense of separateness limiting?
‘Can’t I just live in my body, and work hard and do things my way and enjoy a sense of toughness in my isolation, without other annoying people interfering?’
To best answer this, it helps to see how the opposite is true.
When I was growing my graphic design business in my twenties, one of the most significant challenges was bringing in consistent income. Some months I had work, and other months, zilch. All of the work came from people finding my work online.
I was an illustrator who ‘landed’ clients.
I would receive people’s money for my artwork if I was lucky enough to attract a client.
It took me years to internalize the idea that to receive anything in this business required me to continually place my attention outside of myself. To rise above, my ego’s need to focus on ‘my own thing’ and to consistently serve other people. To be a force of giving and supporting (and ultimately asking), regardless of whether they were clients or not.
When I tended to my people, genuinely taking an interest in helping them get what they wanted, I saw opportunities and gifts flow back to me.
By supporting my support system, I helped myself.
It isn’t about subservience at our expense and becoming some kind of wandering, submissive martyr. In serving those people who matter to us, we help ourselves. It’s always win-win. Our value grows, and we share that value. We then receive, which further cultivates our benefit, and the cycle continues.
Choosing connectedness is seeing that ‘them’ and ‘I’ is one and the same.
You are them.
They are you.
Behind form, behind the thought, behind ego is a collective awareness and a joint ‘being.’
When one node in this mesh of beings contributes, the entire system benefits.
You will know the being is there when you step outside of thought and watch yourself having thoughts.
The real you is the awareness that runs through all of us.
When you can see this duality, it’s like upgrading your operating system, leapfrogging several versions in one swoop.
And yes, I often forget — I downgrade, frequently returning to wasteful ruminative introspection. I get self-conscious. But awareness of connection is something I return to with higher frequency.
It is an operating system that helps me see more like this:
I cannot fully love myself when I continue to judge others.
Earning money will never stop being a challenge for me, as long as I turn my attention away from improving the lives and businesses of those people who are in a position to give me money and support.
Inspiring an audience will elude me if I can’t find a way to motivate myself.
Creating beautiful friendships can’t happen without creating a beautiful harmony with myself.
I will be ruled by fear as long as I perpetuate the absence of love directed towards the source of those fears.
Self-consciousness will find me where I’m not willing to put others at ease.
My success will expand to the degree that I can help others be successful.
My failures will expand to the degree that I encourage and will see failure in others.
I will receive all I want when I am willing to let go of an attachment to receiving; instead, helping others gain what they want.
My creativity will maintain its flowing and glowing surge the more creativity and passion I spark in others.
When you sense the arrow swinging to separateness, gently return to connectedness.
All it takes is a choice.
—
If these ideas stirred something in you, I’d love to read your comment below. I read them all.